If we can...

Life is a journey and I am sure that I am not supposed to pass on this way again ever...

Lets share a walk if we can. Share our dreams till we have the same spark in corner of our eyes. Time will keep running at his pace. Lets ignore the time for sometime if we can.

I am not sure what path life is busy choosing for me but there will be some path that will make us depart. The pain of separation and joy of meeting will get mix again and again. Lets walk slow along our paths if we can.

Yesterday is gone, so tomorrow will. I will also pass through this part of journey very soon. Till the moment which we call "now" lasts in our hearts, lets share this moment if we can.

Tell me that you love me or hate me now when I am here, not when I am gone. Tell me how I can be a better companion in whatever part of journey we share and tell that to me now. Nothing was forever and nothing will be. Lets live this small part of life now if we can.

I am "me" only now. Lets enjoy these moments now if we can.

In search...

In search of a person called "Bhagwati".

I meet many characters with similar face every day. One of them is a good son, another is a brother, the one which wakes up early in morning to leave for office on time is just another employee.

The person sitting there silently is a good friend of some people, the one walking in hurry is a great enemy of some.

The one with a big smile is a good techie who speaks some weird language called java. I smell coffee from this name but he is always sleepy in office.

Perhaps all are me or none of them. Faces are same still they are different in the core. "Polymorphisms" someone shouted, i hate that guy.

There are many others but I am looking for some one else. The one who used to pass from here singing some unknown song. Or perhaps he was just one of these faces.

I am still looking...

MY LIFE

I will loose every game I play.
I will loose every moment, every hour and every day.

I am happy loosing every time ... but I won't loose the final game ... the game that I call MY LIFE.

Smiles are costly ... so are the blessings ... no one can tell the price of happiness ... still everything is cheap ... compared to a luxury that I call MY LIFE.

I aim to be successful ... I will aim to be happy ... some day I may aim to be good ... but all these aims are trivial ... I aim to be "me" ... the biggest star of the drama that I call MY LIFE.

I will make friends ... I will have enemies too ... they will change my life ... I may touch there too ... But I will be busy choosing the changes I want ... and build a dream that I call MY LIFE.

Sometimes..

Confused...

Even confused for what I am confused for.

Sometimes I believe I can fly and touch the sky...
Sometimes I find it hard to take the steps above the ground...

Sometimes I feel happy I got much that I might never deserved...
Sometimes I wish I could have got just a bit more...

Sometimes every road is my playmate...
Sometimes I am lost in myself...

Sometimes it's me all over myself...
Sometimes nothing of me is left inside me...

Sometimes it is everytime...
Sometimes it is only sometimes...

Lost

As a child every adult who met me asked same question "What you want to be when you grow up?"

I don't remember what I used to answer at that time but I am sure it was not this... I never wanted to become this as grown up.

I don't know at what point in life things went wrong, what went wrong and why?

I know this is not I wanted but I also forgot what was that I wanted? There has to be something better, something where desires are more, dreams are still fresh not crippled by daily mad rush, where there is still a sun-rise from the window every morning.

There is nothing I want to change but there is something missing. Family, friends, enemies all are just a call away but still that call remains away.

Sitting in my balcony, I see people rushing through out day to reach somewhere. I feel like these roads are calling me too, I get down and walk a few steps, perhaps thousand more, still no road tells me where is the destiny? They just call me and keep mum after that...

Perhaps... a few lines from jagjit say it all...

"Yun to gujar raha hai har ek pal khushi ke sath,
Fir bhi kuch kami si hai kyon zindagi ke sath..."

Or few words from A.B. Vajpeyi..

"आँसू हैं न मुस्कानें,
हिमानी झील के तट पर
अकेला गुनगुनाता हूँ।
न मैं चुप हूँ न गाता हूँ "