Sometimes..

Confused...

Even confused for what I am confused for.

Sometimes I believe I can fly and touch the sky...
Sometimes I find it hard to take the steps above the ground...

Sometimes I feel happy I got much that I might never deserved...
Sometimes I wish I could have got just a bit more...

Sometimes every road is my playmate...
Sometimes I am lost in myself...

Sometimes it's me all over myself...
Sometimes nothing of me is left inside me...

Sometimes it is everytime...
Sometimes it is only sometimes...

Lost

As a child every adult who met me asked same question "What you want to be when you grow up?"

I don't remember what I used to answer at that time but I am sure it was not this... I never wanted to become this as grown up.

I don't know at what point in life things went wrong, what went wrong and why?

I know this is not I wanted but I also forgot what was that I wanted? There has to be something better, something where desires are more, dreams are still fresh not crippled by daily mad rush, where there is still a sun-rise from the window every morning.

There is nothing I want to change but there is something missing. Family, friends, enemies all are just a call away but still that call remains away.

Sitting in my balcony, I see people rushing through out day to reach somewhere. I feel like these roads are calling me too, I get down and walk a few steps, perhaps thousand more, still no road tells me where is the destiny? They just call me and keep mum after that...

Perhaps... a few lines from jagjit say it all...

"Yun to gujar raha hai har ek pal khushi ke sath,
Fir bhi kuch kami si hai kyon zindagi ke sath..."

Or few words from A.B. Vajpeyi..

"आँसू हैं न मुस्कानें,
हिमानी झील के तट पर
अकेला गुनगुनाता हूँ।
न मैं चुप हूँ न गाता हूँ "